How To Get Fired (story #1) (Grilled Sea Bass, Mango Salsa)

TCM was running Jaws last night, serious shark mayhem.  One of my favorite films.  I still live by Tracey Jordan’s mantra to “live every week like it’s Shark Week.”  During the summer of ’75, when Jaws was released, I worked in the kitchen of Mountain Manor, a golf resort in Marshall’s Creek, PA.  There I did all the tasks that a $1.65/hr. summer help kitchen worker was required to do.  

I assisted Jeanie, a stone alcoholic, who was the head cook.  With her approval, I cooked eggs for the guests and could sit at the bar at a place called The Stumble Inn out on Business Route 209.  By the time I was 15, I knew how to order a proper boilermaker and also ways to dodge the advances of drunken 50 year old maidens.  That said, she was a hellava cook.  Jeanie did breakfast and dinner for 350, seven days a week between June and the end of August and had been since the beginning of time without poisoning too many folks.  

Mountain Manor was the first place where I was fired.  In the restaurant business, getting canned isn’t always a black mark on your resume, since owners tend to be shady, fringe characters with personality disorders.  I’ve worked for drunks, bipolar sufferers, true schizophrenics and addicts of all twisted varieties.  I once was fired because I didn’t want to go to the Arch Street pornos with the pastry chef.  That one wasn’t my fault, however getting sacked at Mountain Manor was entirely on me.

Try to remember a world before Shark Week, a time when sharks were not the thing that scared us outta our wits.  I’m not sure that people today can completely understand the cultural impact that Spielberg's Jaws had on America in the summer of 1975.  There was no basic cable, or even the thought of premium channels.  The VHS and BETA war had just begun.  There was little competition to the movie houses.  The Jaws phenomenon cleared beaches and tanked shore rentals.  Shark fishing off Montauk and Jersey boomed.  Monsters were drawn from the deep and hung up so that every man could prove his virility my killing the newest devil.  Menus featured shark for the first time stating, “Eat it before it eats you!!!!!”  It was a weird, irrational time.  

It was in this climate that I decided to screw with the guests, a mortal sin in the resort business.  You have to remember that we were hundreds of miles away from any ocean.  Walking by the pool, I thought that it would be funny to yell “SHARK.”  The result of this prank was unexpected.  Everyone bolted from the pool as if I had dropped a live 220 volt cable into the diving well.  Mothers grabbed their children and threw them onto the deck.  Teens bloodied themselves climbing over the low fence.  People screamed and cried, a scene of real panic, chaos and bedlam.   

I was able to bolt in the confusion, but I knew that I was totally busted and I would be lucky to avoid a thrashing.  Needless to say I was fired the second the bosses heard about what I had done, although one of the brothers later told me that he got a big laugh out of seeing everyone scramble to safety.  Since every week new guests arrived, I was rehired and returned to scullery work by Saturday after a very direct discussion about mistreating the guests, those people who give us our paycheck.  

Last week, I went fish shopping.  I used to buy Mako or Black Tipped shark for the grill, but over the years I have noticed that the filets are getting smaller and smaller.  The steaks were only about the size of a lamb chop.  This time, they were trying to sell baby fish, shark infants, whole fish that were probably less than 50 pounds.  Shark and top end predators like swordfish need at least seven years before they are able to reproduce, it was clear that the guys I was seeing on ice in the case were juveniles at best.  This can’t be good news for the environment.  Overfishing has caused populations of shark and sailfish to tank.  Let’s not eat endangered fish.  They need time to rebound and that’s not going to happen if we keep making baby shark kebobs with mango salsa.  And let’s not even talk about the impact of finning and the lust for soup in Asia.  The Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch is among the credible sources for sustainable eating.  http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/seafoodwatch/web/sfw_regional.aspx  

One of the best fish to eat on the East Coast of the USA is Black Sea Bass.  They are wild caught and normally fresher than other easily available fish.  If you go on a day boat out of Jersey fishing over ship wrecks, bring a cooler.  You’ll catch a bunch of these firm-fleshed flaky fish.  Following is a recipe for grilled whole bass with herb butter and a mango salsa.

_____

Grilled Black Sea Bass With Herb Butter 

1 Whole Black Sea Bass, about 3 pounds

2 tbs. peanut or salad oil

½ stick unsalted butter, softened

1 small shallot, finely chopped

2 tsp. chopped chives

1 tsp. chopped parsley

the juice of ½ lemon

salt and pepper to taste

Ask your fish seller to gut the bass, snip off the long fins and remove the gills.  Leave the head on.  Season the fish with salt and pepper, coat with the oil and refrigerate for at least an hour before grilling.

Blend the shallot, chives, parsley, lemon, salt and pepper with the butter.  Keep in a cool place while you grill the fish.

Heat your grill.  Charcoal is best, however gas grills do provide an even heat and are convenient.  Brush the grill and place the oiled fish on to a hot spot to sear the skin.  Flip the fish after 5 minutes.  When the skin of the fish is crispy, move the fish to a cooler area of the grill to finish cooking.  Avoid turning the fish too often, since it may come apart on the grill.  Cook the fish until it begins to flake when you press down near the head.  Total cooking time will be under 25 minutes.

Remove the bass from the grill and place it on a serving platter.  Butter it as it goes to the table.  Remember to fight over the cheek meat, the sweetest part of any fish.

_____

Mango Salsa

2 ripe mangos, peeled, seeded and chopped roughly

3tbs. olive oil

1 tbs. red wine vinegar

2 tsp. diced red onion

½ tsp. finely chopped jalapeno pepper

½ tsp. finely chopped garlic

½ tsp. chopped mint

Combine all ingredients and refrigerate overnight.  Before serving, allow the salsa to warm up to room temperature. 

Mango salsa goes well with grilled fish and pork kebobs.  It also pairs well with chicken or turkey sausages. 

Rock and Falafel and Roll (Yogurt, Tzatziki Sauce)

I went to the TLA last night with my buddy Chris to hear a double bill of the Old 97s and Drive-By Truckers.  We’ve been getting wired on music together since we were about 12, so we have a good handle on each other’s oddball taste.   Both are bands that I have enjoyed over the years, but never really followed with the maniacal fervor that I gave the Velvet Underground or somebody like Son House.  After driving around for a half hour begging for a parking spot, I did what I should have done in the first place and put the car in a lot.  Since I was well past hungry and needing some kind of fuel, I was depressed a bit, because South Street in Philly is a wasteland of wings, reheated pizza and cheesesteaks that a local walks right on by.  We did find a shining light in that eatspocalypse, Alyan's Restaurant on south 4^th, just around the corner from the club.  http://www.yelp.com/biz/alyans-restaurant-philadelphia#query:Falafel

 

Falafel is the junk food of the Middle East.  Although we are well on the way to converting them to the American way of eating, KFC and McEvil, completing a form of economic domination that is far more lucrative than old-fashioned colonialism, those in the Middle East still grab a kebob or falafel when they are on the go.  It has everything, nutrition, flavor, homemade pickles on the side and of course crunch.  Crispy fried stuff is always good, especially crispy fried stuff that can easily pass for healthy.  I may be way off base here, since I’ve visited Alyan’s exactly once.  This place looks like a keeper.  Chris had chicken noodle soup that was dipped deep in the pot, giving him a bowl filled with the good stuff, carrots, celery, onions, noodles and shredded chicken.  My falafel platter, at under $10, was a buy, consisting of a salad, pickles, hummus, tahini, pita and five generous falafel nuggets, the mother lode of before rock and roll eats.  The garlic and parsley flavors were appropriately balanced.

 

The show was fun.  Even though the Old 97s shamelessly ripped off Desolation Row on one number, I thought that their set was one of the best I’ve heard in years.  Anyone who covers Merle’s Mama Tried is on my list.  The guy playing leads had a big red guitar that would have made Duane Eddy cry.  Lots of dark songs.  Those young men do seem uncertain about their redemption.  While Drive-By Truckers were skilled. Their three guitar attack got a bit repetitive.  I’m sure the bootleg will surface.  I’ll give them a second chance.

 

Oh yeah, this is a food blog.  

 

Fermented milk products, yogurts, are common sides or marinades in Middle Eastern countries.  I know that is a loose statement, nonspecific as you can get, covering a huge geographic area, however roll with me on this one.  Unlike many Americans, I do have a handle on world geography.  For example, I knew the problem with Gov. Palin’s statement that Africa is a “big country.”  Many people from the Levant to India consider yogurt a staple.  You should too!  It is easily made, versatile and adds flavor and texture to food.   Homemade yogurt is another thing that can be made in large batches.  If you have it hanging around, you will find a variety of uses for this stuff.  Here is a recipe for yogurt and a Tzatziki sauce that you and your friends will enjoy.

_____

 

For your starter culture, buy a commercial yogurt with active Lactobacillus cultures.  You should also purchase one that you like, because some of the character of that commercial product will be transferred to your batch.  Taste a few, buy what you like.  Avoid cheap store brands.  They are likely to be filled with stabilizers and thickeners.

 

Yogurt

 

½ gallon skim milk

1 6oz. container of plain commercial yogurt

 

Scald the milk over high heat in an enamel or stainless steel stockpot.  Remove from the heat when bubbles begin to form around the edges of the milk.  Do not boil the milk.

 

Set the stockpot off the heat on a corner of the stove.  Cool the milk until it no longer feels hot to the touch.  When it has cooled, stir in the yogurt.  Cover the pot and let it sit in a warm place overnight.  The fermentation will begin and you will notice that the yogurt has thickened. 

 

At this point, the yogurt will have a slightly acidic taste.  Mixed with a puree of fresh fruit, it makes a refreshing drink.  Let the fermentation continue for another day and the yogurt will become tart and will set up firmly.  You can save some of the culture that you started to use making your next batch.

_____

 

Tzatziki is the classic garlicky yogurt sauce served with gyros and put on grilled kebobs.  You can also use it as a dip with pita chips.  Only make what you’ll be using that day.  The cukes get mushy and release water into the yogurt, thinning it out.

 

Tzatziki Sauce

 

1 ½ cups homemade yogurt

1 cucumber, peeled seeded and cut into a ¼ inch dice

2 tbs. chopped dill (or mint, oregano or chives)

1 tsp. chopped garlic

salt and pepper to taste

 

Combine all the ingredients.  Refrigerate for one hour before serving.

Applesauce and the Wonder That is a Parsnip (Applesauce, Roasted Parsnips)

We cooked lunch for our church yesterday.  You can’t go wrong with salad, ham, applesauce and especially a cheesy, cream-soaked potato gratin.  The members at St. John’s can eat!  Interestingly, the big hit was Cathy’s applesauce.  She has been making it for years, but this time we got me advice from Gary at Ray’s Greenhouse in Telford, PA and adjusted the cooking technique a bit.  It made all the difference.

Buy food from Ray’s!  Here’s the contact info.  http://www.yelp.com/biz/rays-greenhouse-telford  They don’t seem to have a website.  No big surprise there, plus don’t we want them with their hands in the dirt, not head down on a keyboard?  I can’t say enough good about these folks.  I stop there all year to buy what is seasonal.  The fall is when they really shine.  I get about 60 gallons of cider from them every year, local apples, pressed in Zieglersville with no added preservatives.  They have a big selection on pumpkins and odd looking, tasty squash.  Broccoli, cabbage, potatoes and the most beautiful, ivory colored cauliflower, along with the newer alien green cauliflower, were available the last time I was in.  There are often four or more types of sweet potatoes and yams, all grown in their fields around Earlington.  Ask Gary for the tutorial if you can spare a bunch of time.  I particularly like the Beauregard, small, red, twisted little things with incredibly sweet flesh.  They now have hydroponic lettuce all year.  

This is also your apple hookup.  Unlike many other shops, the people at Ray’s know what they are selling and can help you pick out the right apple for your use.  For example, Winesap is the best eating apple, along with Jonathon and some of the golds.  Empire is for pies.  Gary told me that I should go with Cortland if we are making applesauce, because it comes out a striking pink color.  He was right.  Always trust your local farmer.  Here’s what we did, followed by a simple recipe for roasted parsnips, an often neglected root vegetable.

­­_____

It confused me when a number of people at church told me that they had never made their own applesauce and thought that it would be difficult to make.  This recipe and the next exemplify the kind of things that I want everyone to try, easy, packed with flavor and sure to delight the people around you.  The keys are that you must use top quality ingredients and understand the cooking techniques that work best for that particular food.

To make great applesauce, you don’t have to knock yourself out peeling and coring dozens of apples.  Additionally, this is something best made in bulk.  Apples are inexpensive and this stuff gets eaten up quickly.  The thing that is important about this recipe is that you will let the cooked apples sit on their skins for 30 minutes, letting the skin contribute a nice pink color and some tannin to the finished product, creating a more complex set of flavors than if you had simply milled the apples when they had finished cooking.  You may need some sugar to balance the acidity.  Use a light hand and your best judgment.

Applesauce

24 Cortland apples

½ cup sugar (if you think the finished product is too tart)

Quarter the apples and put them in a large, heavy-bottomed stock pot with a tight-fitting lid.  Turn the stove on high until the water begins cooking out of the apples and you hear boiling in the pot.  Reduce the heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, as the apples cook and turn to mush.  When all the apples are cooked, cover the pot, turn off the heat and let it sit for 30 minutes. 

After the resting period, pass the apples through a food mill, removing the stems, cores and peels.  Refrigerate overnight and add any sugar before serving.

­­_____

I am on a righteous mission to popularize parsnips.  You’ve seen them in markets and on farm stands, but passed up on them, probably because you didn’t know what to do with parsnips.  Try this recipe.  You will be converted and will become a fanatical member of my cult.  We try to serve parsnips at all our dinner parties and have successfully converted a number of heathens who had spent their lives wandering the wilderness of Giant’s produce section. 

Roasted Parsnips

4 parsnips

1 tbs. unsalted butter, softened (or substitute peanut oil)

salt and pepper

Preheat your oven to 375°. 

Slice the parsnips into sticks about 1/3 of an inch square and 5 inches long.  The length does not matter as much as the thickness, since you want them to roast evenly.  Put the parsnips in a mixing bowl.  Coat them with the butter and season lightly with salt and pepper.

Spread the buttered parsnips on a baking sheet.  Be sure that they are in one layer, not touching, since that will prevent them from browning evenly. 

Put the baking sheet in the oven.  After 15 minutes, using tongs or a spatula, turn the parsnips.  In another 15 minutes the parsnips should be evenly browned, buttery and caramelized.  Remove from the pan and serve hot.       

The "Great Pumpkin" (Pumpkin Bisque, Cumin Pumpkin Seeds)

­Linus was right, not completely, because he was a day or so off.  The “Great Pumpkin” does rise up out of the kindest pumpkin patch at this time every year, just not on Halloween night.  No, the greatest pumpkins are the ones that your neighbors set out at the curb after the scary night has passed while they are putting up Christmas decorations. 

I’m not one to look down on someone who makes their living trash picking.  We all have our challenges and somehow needs must be met.  I do give a bad look to those who toss out a perfectly good pumpkin only because the calendar says 11 instead of 10.  I’m going with that it is sinful to throw out a pumpkin.  There’s nutrition and extremely good tastes in that big, orange gourd.  You just have to know how to cook it.  I think we can all get behind the idea of free food, especially if it tastes good, so if you see an unblemished pumpkin at your neighbors curb, grab it up.  If you are afraid of getting busted, take a shopping bag with you when you walk the dog after dark.

Every year during October, I used to run a “Guess the Weight of the Pumpkin" contest at the high school where I taught Social Studies.  The winner was announced on Halloween and the pumpkin from the contest was served to the students as soup and cookies.  The cookies were a sugar cookie recipe with some pumpkin puree folded in.  The soup recipe follows.  I scored big with the students that day.  Some of the faculty and administration didn’t like the idea of me giving out food to the kids, but they were mostly jackasses.

Two recipes follow, one for a velvety pumpkin bisque and the other for cumin butter roasted pumpkin seeds.  For generations, Americans have been feeding their families on pumpkin soup, fritters, cookies and puree.  You can/should/damn well better do the same thing.

_____

Pumpkin Bisque

1 medium pumpkin, about 8 pounds

1 spanish onion, diced

½ cup rice

1 stick unsalted butter

3 quarts of cold water

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup light brown sugar, or to taste

1 teaspoon cinnamon

½ teaspoon nutmeg

salt and white pepper

Preheat oven to 400.  Cut the pumpkin in half, scoop out the seeds and stringy flesh, leaving only the firm meat.  Put the pumpkin on a baking sheet and roast it for about an hour, until it is cooked through and lightly browned on top.  Cool, peel then chop the pumpkin into 1 inch chunks.

Heat a heavy-bottomed stock pot over low heat on the stovetop.  Add 2 tablespoons of butter.  When the butter has melted, add the onions and sauté them until they are translucent.  Add the rice, cook for another minute then add the chopped pumpkin.  Sauté the pumpkin for about five minutes, until it is almost dry.  Season the soup with salt and pepper.  Add the water, turn up the heat, and bring the soup to a boil.  When it boils, turn down the heat and simmer the soup for at least one hour.  Stir occasionally so that the rice does not stick to the bottom and burn.

When the soup has cooked for an hour, puree it in a blender or run it through a food mill.  Return the soup to the stove and bring it back up to temperature.  Add the cream, the sugar, the spices, salt and pepper. 

Just before serving, remove the soup from the heat.  Cut the remaining butter into 1 teaspoon sized pieces, stir the soup and add the butter, one piece at a time.  Continue stirring until the butter has been fully incorporated into the soup.  Adjust the seasoning with sugar, salt and pepper.  Do not boil after the addition of the butter because it will separate out of the soup.

­­_____

Cumin Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

seeds from one pumpkin

1 tbs. kosher salt

½ tsp. ground cumin

1tbs. unsalted butter

1qt. water

Scoop the seeds and stringy membranes out of the pumpkin, leaving the firm flesh for roasting.  Put the seeds in a colander and rinse with cold water, using your hands to separate the seeds from the membranes.  Preheat the oven to 400°.

When separated, put the pumpkin seeds, salt water and butter in a saucepan and boil to cook the seeds and reduce the water.  When reduced by ¾, about 20 minutes, add the cumin, stir, then pour the seeds and remaining water onto a baking sheet pan and put it in the oven to roast.  Check the seeds every 10 minutes.  With a metal spatula, turn them occasionally, cooking them until they are golden brown. 

They can be served as a snack or used to garnish pumpkin soup.