A Salad Manifesto (creamy dressing, mayonnaise)

One thing, besides the numerous food safety issues that I see when going to a buffet, supper or just to someone’s house for dinner is that when the salad is served, out come bottle after bottle of salad dressing to pour over the greens.  The host probably took some time purchasing salad that is fresh.  You can, there’s good stuff out there now.  In our local grocery, without looking too hard, I found escarole, Belgian endive, radicchio, frisèe and a real nice head of red leaf lettuce.  The downfall of the salad then is usually not the lettuces, but the dressing.  Hosts will offer a variety of dressings, hoping to please everyone at the table.  What you get is quarter bottles of commercial dressings, most well past their pull date, with the dregs caked to the neck of a bottle that seems purposely shaped to prevent you from getting the last bit out.

Take this test.  
 

1.     Open the door of your fridge.

2.     Count the number of commercial dressings festering in the door.

3.     If you have more than two, give yourself a dope slap.  

It is doubtful that you’ll have fewer than three bottles of commercial dressings in your fridge.  If any of them are made by Ken’s, hang your head in shame.  I can’t believe that they sell that stuff to real, paying customers.  Ken’s was always the cheapie brand that you would see on the salad bar in an unnamed seafood house in Wilkes Barre, PA.  It was the kind of place where they did the classy presentation thing.  They would take the time to cut the labels off the spiced apple ring #10 cans before burying them in the ice.  The staff also couldn’t grasp the obvious fact that sea legs were not lump crab.  Dude!

I can’t really cop an attitude here.  My Mom usually would stock at least ten dressings of varying vintages, along with about six mustards, all inedible.  They were in layers on the door.  You needed von Schliemann’s archaeological skills to make a salad.  http://schliemann-museum.de/hsm/werk.html

 

A continuing theme over here at Fresh Fun Foods is that it doesn’t have to be that way.  As kitchen preparations go, salad dressings ain’t that difficult.  In a similar way to mother sauces, White becomes Mornay etc., a base dressing can be made and then different variations make different dressings for different uses.  It takes a lot to plan a meal.  If you are going to work hard on the apps, the main course and the dessert, why play dressing roulette with the salad course.  

The following is a base recipe for a creamy salad dressing.  You’ll have to make some mayonnaise, but it is worth the trouble.  Don’t worry about using raw egg yolks, the vinegar will push the pH way down, killing off all the pathogenic bugs.  The dairy, acids and herbs can be varied.  You’ll be able to make dozens of dressings for any kind of salad you would like to make.  Play, have fun with your food.

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Creamy Dressing

1 cup mayonnaise (yeah, make your own)

1 cup heavy cream

3 tbs. red wine vinegar

2 tbs. chopped parsley

salt and white pepper

Mix all the ingredients together.  Refrigerate for at least an hour before serving. 

Consider the following variations.  Pick a dairy, an acid or a herb to change in the original recipe.  You can also add two tablespoons of grated parmesan or locatelli cheese.  A teaspoon of chopped garlic or onion would also work.  Lots of fresh black pepper might pick it up.

Dairy	Acid	Herbs
crème fraiche	champagne vinegar	thyme
buttermilk	white wine vinegar	tarragon
sour cream	cider vinegar	mint
yogurt	orange juice	oregano
	lemon juice	sorrel
		rosemary
		sage

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Mayonnaise

2 cups salad oil

2 egg yolks

1 tsp. Dijon mustard

1 tsp. red wine vinegar

salt and pepper

Put the egg yolks, mustard, vinegar, salt and pepper in a large mixing bowl.  Mix to combine.  Let rest for ten minutes.

With a whisk or electric mixer, beat the yolks for approximately five minutes.  First, it will froth and appear to form small bubbles.  As you mix, it will thicken and begin to look like plastic. 

Continue to beat the eggs.  Slowly, at the beginning drop by drop, add the oil.  After ½ of the oil has been added, begin to whisk slowly.  If the mayonnaise looks oily, add a drop or two of cold water to thin it out.  the finished mayonnaise should be quite thick, like sour cream.